you do not have to be on your own
by quinnpuck
Summary: He stares out of the window the rest of the ride home and she pretends to be interested in the bad romcom playing on the tv screen as they both ignore the way their fingers find each other somewhere in between them. Kitty/Ryder


"_If love is judged by it's visible effects, it often looks more like hatred." (La Rochefoucauld)_

x

"Jesus, Ryder! If you can't even hold _my_ body up how will you be able to carry Marley when she gets back from fat camp?" Kitty snaps, getting up from the floor as she rolls her shoulder. That dipshit Ryder dropped her again. She might be Marley's substitute right now but that doesn't mean she'll be the actual Marley, all sweet and forgiving and the whole fifty shades of annoying.

"You're such a bitch," he breathes spitefully as he steps away from her.

"I thought Marley was sick," Brittany remarks confusedly and Sam lowers his voice as he explains Kitty's vile words, giving her a smile as he wraps his arm around her waist.

"Well, yeah, if being a bitch is going to make us better," she steps closer to him, narrowing her eyes, "I'm willing to make the sacrifice."

"How's _that_ working out for you?"

"Are you dropping me on purpose, Ken doll?" She raises her eyebrows, pursing her lips.

"No," he exclaims, balling his fists, "but bitching around about how we all suck so much isn't helping me holding you up."

"You guys fight like a married couple," Tina observes as she crosses her arms, obviously annoyed their dance rehearsal is interrupted yet again.

"Whatever. If you guys can't handle the heat, don't get into the fire," Kitty informs them before grabbing her bag and heading for the choir room's exit but not before sending another scowl into Ryder's direction.

"Dude, she's so into you," Jake claps him on the shoulder with a small grin and Ryder gives him a weird look.

"_There's always a bigger fish_," Sam chuckles, quoting Star Wars and no one really knows what he's talking about except for Brittany, who giggles in response.

"Whatever," Ryder shakes his head to himself, his eyes landing on the door. Kitty's not there anymore, of course she isn't, and he kind of misses her presence (a little, and he won't admit it out loud, or at all - nevermind he _doesn't_ miss her).

Mr. Schue sighs as he claps his hands, "Guys, let's just get on with it."

x

She sits next to him at lunch all the time, even though she likes to let every single one of them know every single lunch period that she hates sitting at the loser table with them every single day.

"I should be sitting at the popular table," she mentions carelessly as she stares at Jake feed Marley some chocolate cake before they both laugh, her head slightly tilted, with a disgusted look gracing her beautiful features

"Then go," Ryder mutters as he plays around with his food, leaning forward on his elbows. Does she need to rub in the fact everyone's happy beside him?

"I mean look at them," she nudges her head towards the sickenly sweet duo, scrunching up her nose. "No wonder people slushie you guys."

"Kitty," Ryder states warningly, sighing aggravatedly, as he dryly adds, "We like sitting with you because even though you're really annoying and too mean for your own good, you're our friend but if you don't like sitting with us, then get away from here. _Please_."

"You guys should really learn to be nice to each other," Artie remarks, pushing his glasses further on his nose. They both ignore him, Kitty going back to her fruit salad and Ryder going back to winding his pasta around his fork.

She squeezes his thigh under the table though and if he's not mistaken, he sees the tiniest of smirks on her face as she does so.

(And from then on, she refers to herself as a loser instead of them, which is pretty cool, he thinks)

x

She leans against the locker next to his, one hand on the strap of her backpack as she states, "You should really get a haircut, I hate your hair like this."

He bites back, slamming his locker shut loudly, "I hate the sound of your voice."

She looks over at him and smiles, as if he's given her a compliment.

He hasn't.. _right_?

Yeah, he does like her voice a lot (especially when she's singing instead of talking) and it was just the first thing that came out of his mouth (he's never really been good with words, you know) but he knows for a fact she loves his hair and he doesn't even know why they do this stuff.

When they walk to chemistry together - she loops her arm through his and leans extra close as she talks to him about cheer practice - he figures he'll take the insults anyday if it means she'll do stuff like this with him, because he really likes her like _this_.

x

They place second at Nationals and it sucks hard but that doesn't mean Kitty has the right to insult everyone on their way back (a long, long way back) and of course, he's stuck next to her.

"... and why was Unique flapping her arms during Marley's duet, did she expect to be able to fly off with the first prize? Because she sure as hell didn't and then there was Sam who was just - _no_."

"Shut up," he groans, leaning his head back on the. Everyone was either sleeping, listening to music or purposely tuning Kitty out by indulging in whatever activity they could (he's pretty sure Joe didn't normally braid his dreads and Sugar was actually counting the money in her purse).

"Don't get me started on you, son of frankteen," she turns towards him, her eyes narrowed, wildly moving around her head with every word she says, "You were the absolute worst version of yourself. You make me want to have a sexchange so I can look more like George Gray _just_ so I can tell you, Ryder, you are the weakest link. Like what even was that note on the end of-"

He's become rather insensitive to all of insults since she doesn't mean half of them (he's pretty sure she's his biggest fan next to his dad). He cuts her off, raising his eyebrows, "I'm going to kiss you now, okay?"

"Don't make it as pathetic as your performance because I will spread around the rumour you have a small di-"

He cuts her off again, putting one hand on her cheek as he leans forward and connect their lips. Her plump pink lips are soft and sweet unlike the words that roll over them 24/7.

He doesn't _totally_ hate kissing her.

"That's gross, bro," Artie leans over the back of his chair to look at him and Tina joins him, scrunching up her face.

"Seriously? We're in a bus, a public place if you didn't know, we'd like to keep our food in, thank you very much."

"Shut up, Tina!" They both exclaim at the both time as they pull apart.

"Whatever," the brunette replies coldly turning back to her magazine, Artie just shaking his head as he turns back around, also.

He stares out of the window the rest of the ride home and she pretends to be interested in the bad romcom playing on the tv screen as they both ignore the way their fingers find each other somewhere in between them.

x

"Kitty, what's that on your neck?" Marley frowns as she tries to remove Kitty's blonde locks but she manages to slap the lean hand away just in time.

"Nothing," she states firmly, trying to change the subject, "So I thought we could do Irreplaceable first and then-"

"There's something on your neck?" Jake interrupts her, craning his neck to take a look at the possible vampire bite and wow, he should really stop letting Marley pick the movie.

"No!" She exclaims loudly, making sure to cover up her neck even further with her hair as she sends them all a warning look.

"I once saw a documentary on Discovery about this spider who bites people necks and then they get spaghetti hands," Brittany nods her head confirmingly, "True story."

Sam turns to his girlfriend proclaiming, "That was Spiderman, babe."

"Can I see?" Artie sits up further in his wheelchair and they're all circling her in by now. (Beside Ryder, that bastard is quietly sitting in the back of the quiet room letting her take the fall)

Marley reaches out again and Kitty slaps her away _again_. "No! Go away! There's_ nothing_ to see."

"As head captain, I have to inform you ponytails are required when your on the cheerios," Blaine announces and Kitty ignores him, pushing Joe aside to take a seat on of the chairs.

"Ryder, why are you so quiet all of a sudden?" Jake smirks, fully knowing what all of this is about. His face reddens in response but he doesn't say anything.

"Kitty, I want you to know that if someone's hitting you, you can tell me. I can pay someone to beat them up," Sugar suggests in a matter of fact voice and Kitty looks over her shoulder to glare at Ryder, who just shrugs a little.

"I hate you," she mouths and he just smiles cutely which just makes her want to punch him in the face with a damn piano even more.

"Someone's hitting you? Kitty is that true?" Finn sounds concerned as he takes a step closer to her. Of course _that's_ what the clown hears.

"It's a frigging hickey, okay?" She shouts aggravated, "Now can everybody shut the hell up?"

x

Saturday are kind of their days where they can hang out for longer than an hour and without other people constantly being up in their grill.

"You should really clean your room," she tells him with her tart little mouth or rolling her eyes as she steps into his room and letting him know he should really look into plastic surgery because his feet are weird.

She leans up and kisses him before flopping down onto his bed, raising her eyebrows, "Go on, start your _special_ homework so we can at least do something fun before the sky turns dusk."

He makes homework at his desk while she reads a magazine or two, spread over his bed, occasionally helping him out with a particular weird word like _loquacious_ who even comes with words like that? Couldn't they just say talkative? It was like they were trying to screw him over.

They don't really talk, just fall into this certain still, quiet _break_ of everything where he doesn't really have to pretend he's someone else because she kinds of understands him without all the words and shit, you know?

After two hours or so they usually end up making out and she tells him he's really bad at it and he retorts by telling her she's equally as bad which just results into another make-out session until his parents come home from the country club.

He kind of hates her, but really doesn't at the same time and it's a weird feeling and at his age he probably shouldn't feel weird about a girl - he's sixteen and a dude and he should probably feel like really attracted to her all the time. He doesn't, always, because sometimes he just wants to like, kiss her really hard and then other times he wants her to shut up (and kiss her, okay, he still would like to kiss her) but he doesn't know how to stop that feelings and he's not even sure if he wants to.

x

_Kitty: u better not bring ur stank over to my place tonight no shower no love xoxo_

He rolls his eyes at Kitty's text message as he looks over at her across the field. She raises her eyebrows challengingly, waving slowly before turning back towards the other cheerleaders.

He sends her a reply before stuffing the phone into his bag, trying to focus on not getting hit by a football straight in the face during practice, 'cause that would suck hard.

After half an hour or so, when cheerleader practice ends, he sees her walking over to her own bag and open up her phone. She might pretend she doesn't care for all the sweet stuff but he notices that special smile she smiles (and how she quickly hides it before anyone could catch it) before disappearing into the locker room (he's pretty sure it's the only thing that gets him through the extra hour of practice).

And a few weeks later, when he's browsing through her phone out of boredom he finds the text message saved on her phone and when he shows her she ignores him, says something snarky about how he's dumb but he sees the blush forming on her cheeks. He can't help but kiss her cheek as he laughs a little before turning back to her phone.

_Ryder: u look cute today baybe_

When did they turn into these people?

x

"Ouch," Jake grimaces and Ryder turns around to give him a questioning look. They just started basketball season and there's no way they're going to win any games if Jake's like, injured or some shit.

"What? Did you sprain something? Do I need to get some ice?"

"Your back, dude," Jake laughs as he pulls his shirt over his head and shakes his head to himself. His back was covered in small claw-like scratches and even though it was funny to him, Ryder couldn't be more embarrassed.

Ryder turns a darker shade of red as he quickly pulls his own shirt over his head.

"Kitty claiming her territory?" Jake suggests and Ryder ignores him, clearing his throat as he gets out his shoes. He's not getting into this right now and especially now with Jake. Didn't he like, used to date Kitty and he like kissed Marley and shit and they're best bros and all but when it comes to this shit - it's just awkward.

"Hey, don't sweat it, bro, I won't tell anyone," he snickers quietly before hesitatingly adding, "I'm just saying, if she's trying so hard to mark you as hers, must mean it's getting really serious."

x

They break up like every other week which is slowly progressing into every other day.

It's just - she drives him so fucking insane - it's _crazy_. One minute she's all sweet and almost loving and then she's going nuts over the smallest things like because he keeps coughing too much (like he can help coughing when he has a damn cold) or the fact he's wearing blue again (what's her problem anyway) and then she goes back to being sweet and it's a never ending cycle that she just expects him to put up with.

"You looked at her."

"We were singing a duet!" He tightens his grip on the steering wheel, because is she for real right now?

"Yeah, but I know you still like her because you were staring into her eyes like some lovey-dovey eighties movie suicide-enhancing douchebag who makes me want to throw up."

"We were singing about love, Kitty, that's what you do when you're in love, you look in someone's eyes - it's part of performing!" He retorts angrily, tightening his jaw.

"If you like curvy girls you can just say so-"

"Why do you always do this? You don't have to be a bitch all the time, Kitty," he bites back harshly.

"Stop the car," she demands and he swears to God he sees her eyes glazing over with tears.

"I'm not stopping the car."

"Stop the car," she states firmly, her voice shaking a little as she swallows hard.

"I'm not going to stop the goddamn car, Kitty!"

"Fine," she says, a tear rolling down her cheek and God, why does he have to be so stupid all the time?

He remembers the infamous bitch Kitty Wilde gets insecure, too, and she does have feelings and she isn't as heartless and cold as she makes herself out to be. His eyes soften as he looks over at his girlfriend (and she really is, his girlfriend, he means, and to be honest he couldn't imagine a world in which he doesn't get to break-up and make-up with her every day).

"I'm sorry, I didn't, I didn't mean to yell at you," he sighs slowly, running a hand over his face, trying to keep his eyes on the road. Deciding it's safer to pull over, he stops the car on the side of the road.

"You always defend her," she says after a long silence and she sounds so small and it's weird how bad he feels when she feels bad and how much he absolutely hates seeing her like this even if she makes him so angry all the time.

"I don't like her, Kitty, I mean, like," he pauses, sighing again, trying to find the right words, "I like her, as a friend, but I like you, Kitty, and not as a friend, I mean, I love you."

It just kind of comes out like verbal diarrhea or something and he shouldn't be thinking about diarrhea when she's looking at him like he just exclaimed the world was about to end or some shit and it's kind of scaring him.

"What?"

"I.." He opens his mouth and what is he doing? She's probably going to kill him for this. She doesn't like feelings and love declarations and romance and stuff (but he remembers that text message on her phone, that she still has on there and also this one stuffed animal he won her once at a carnival and how she had commented she wasn't doing this whole cheesy romantic thing but she still sleeps with it every night and he remembers the way she kisses him slow and sweet at night when she thinks he won't notice the difference but just because he doesn't mention it doesn't mean he doesn't notice and he think of her smile, the actual one, not a smirk or a grin, but her actual smile when she's happy and he realizes he _loves_ that smile) and he builds up the courage to repeat himself, "I love you."

He kind of has to kiss her there, just _because_, and also because she might never let him again, but soon enough she's kissing him back and when she pulls away and hugs him (whispering in his ear that _she does love him, too_) he think those are his three new favorite words in the world.

When he thinks about it, the never ending cycle of insanely hot batshit crazy Kitty Wilde really isn't that bad.

x

**my try at kitty and ryder! i love them both so much, hope this is not too ooc or anything. **

**i ship them so hard and i'm not sure if this is any good but with so little fics out there a bad fic is always better than no fics. **

**title is from the song a message by coldplay which applies to them so much i can't. **

**also if rib doesn't make a kyder a real and honest think next season i'm quitting this fandom and moving to australia and banning all my connections to the internet and become a sheep shepherd shit, ok? ? ? **

**a review would be like the episode naked airing 24/7 in your brain ? ? ? like i don't even know what i'm saying it's two am ok i'm leaving. now. thank you!**

x


End file.
